Writing Lines

I’m blogging about this because my husband said I should, and I’m listening to him… You’ll find it funny after you read the post. 

We’ve recently decided to actively start our CDD lifestyle again. For one, my behavior towards J has been a little out of control lately. Two, I feel better overall when it’s happening and I’m kept in my place which leads to less punishments and corrections. Three, all of that leads to a better and happier sex life. Four, I really do need it, emotionally. 

Anyway, yesterday we went on a family outing, which was very nice. I have this habit that J hates, and I’m trying to break it. Most of the time that is. He caught me doing it a couple times and told me to stop. Well.. I decided I was going to test his limits and I ignored him and kept doing it. He sent me a text that basically said I was running out of chances, which undoubtedly means a stern spanking. So I continued to do it anyway… When we got to the house (we crashed with a friend) he told me that the only thing saving me was not being at our home. So I had to write lines… Something that I had never done for him before. He instructed me to write “I will listen to my husband” 20 times. It really wasn’t that bad and I know I deserved way more. I’m thankful my husband loves me and wants me to be my best and nothing less.  

 

The Cane

The cane is not the worst thing in the world. It’s better than some things I’ve been spanked with. Anyway, last night I was in a sour mood. I don’t know why, I was just really grumpy. I couldn’t talk because if I did I just sounded snappy. When we got home I went to our room and tried to get in a better mood, but I just couldn’t! J came in and rubbed my back and said sweet things, and that wasn’t working either… Then he said, “you know what we haven’t done in awhile?” I knew what he was talking about instantly. And it’s true, we haven’t done any sort of spanking for quite a few weeks. “I think you need a correction.” And of course, I tried to talk my way out of it. Corrections aren’t all that bad, they’re not punishments or discipline or anything. They’re more like refocusings. He does a really good job at giving them too. The worst part about being spanked right now is the cane. Because I’m pregnant, the cane is the lowest impact, so J is more comfortable using it then anything else. I prefer his hand over everything else, but the cane really isn’t the worst implement.  He talked to me all the way through it, telling me that everything is okay and the good things I have in my life, which makes it easier to cooperate with the spanking, for the most part. I took it without resisting. He finished and had me cuddle with him for a minute, but I still felt grumpy. So he turned me back over and did a little more. After he finished again, I cuddled him and felt so much better. I forget how much they actually help and make me feel better. And you know… Better mood equals better sex 😉 

No Doubts. 

About what I said in my last post… It’s not that J is having doubts about it, he just doesn’t want to spank me while I’m pregnant, which I completely understand. So instead I think we’re gonna try other things until I have the baby.. I don’t completely know what those other things are, but I guess we’ll find out. He’s been getting on my case for not listening to him (which is true, he’ll tell me to do something and I’ll just procrastinate until he gets upset, and then I’ll do it) so we might find out sooner than later…. 

Life Is Good. 

Hello! I know, it’s been a really long time since J or I have posted, but we got married and everything and life has just been really good and busy, and I just haven’t had time to sit down and write a blog. I haven’t been really spanked since before the wedding… I just haven’t done anything to need one. I’ve had a small one here and there for small things, but nothing I would think to blog about. It’s a personal marriage issue, so I’m not going to get into the details, but I think J might be having some doubts about this whole thing anyway. Im kinda hoping it’s because I’m pregnant and we’ll get back into it after the baby comes maybe? I don’t know. Our sex life hasn’t been that great either. It’s not because we’re having marriage issues or anything, it’s simply because it just hasn’t been very comfortable for me, and I just haven’t had the sex drive. I’m hoping it’ll pass soon. I have 15 more weeks of this pregnancy…. More later. 

No more cussing. 

So, as I said in my last post, I was anticipating a spanking for cussing (35 times) since I was spanked for it last time. It was such a long, painful wait too.. When he finally did it I asked him if we haaaaad too, and he of course, said yes… I really dread being punished. I know you’re not suppose to like it or look forward to it, but J is so good at it, it almost makes it worse. He has been doing some reading lately and he found a post about the “anatomy of spanking” and he’s been spanking off of that, which I don’t like because he smacks my thighs every once in a while and it hurts REALLY bad. Anyway, so I got over his knee and he gave me a warm up and some reminders about my attitude (which has been improving but could still use some work) and then off came the panties… I felt him pick up his plastic spoon or whatever it is (we picked up some new toys recently) and he said I love you, and we’re gonna get the cussing dealt with. So I braced myself and he began… About 15 smacks in I started squirming and kicking, and he told me to stop with some harder smacks, and so I stopped. When he was finished with that he gave me a few more with his hand. So, he only gave me thirty, and I owed him 35. When he stopped with the spoon I took a minute to contemplate whether or not I should tell him that, and came to the conclusion that if I didn’t tell him I would end up telling him later and the consequences for not being honest immediately would be a lot worse… So I told him. “Babe, I actually owed you 35…” He said, “oh, really?” And gave me 5 quite hard smacks with his hand that made me whimper a little bit and said, “thank you for being honest.” Then he stopped and asked me if I should be rewarded for being a good-girl. I said no, sir, because I wasn’t really good through that (all the squirming and kicking). So he turned me back over and let me redeem myself. I stayed very still and quiet and only let out a little whimper or two. He held me for a minute and told me that if I’m good during a spanking and don’t kick or move or talk to much I’ll get rewarded with sex, but if I’m not good I won’t get any sex. This time I got rewarded :). He also said I could rub for a little bit, but I didn’t end up rubbing at all. That just shows how stubborn I can be sometimes.. It didn’t turn out to be too bad of a punishment, or at least not the worst I’ve ever had. 

Why you don’t stop…

J and I didn’t decide to stop Christian Domestic Discipline or anything, but our lives got busy and we didn’t have time for spankings… Which is not a good thing for me. Because I wasn’t getting my refocusing spankings, or any other kind of spankings (even though I knew I deserved to be) my attitude slipped dramatically. I was being mean to J pretty consistently. He would give me his “you need to stop look” or give me a quick one or two swats, but that was about it. I felt like I could do whatever I wanted and he wouldn’t do anything about it because he didn’t have time. It wasn’t a good situation. My mouth also slipped pretty badly. So the other night we had time and even though I didnt want to admit it, I needed a good refocusing. I wasn’t punished, although I did get some with the paddle for cussing and the way I had been treating him, but it was mostly a refocusing, and by the end of it I was pretty squirmy (but I wasn’t going to dare to block him). After he was done he held me for awhile and we both agreed that we shouldn’t go that long without a refocusing. And I really shouldn’t be able to get away with talking to him like I was. 

I owe J 32 spanks with the paddle for cussing (yesterday wasn’t a good day for my temper) and we didn’t have time to do them yesterday so I’m going to try really hard to not rack anymore up. 32 with the paddle is enough for me… Waiting for them is the worst. I know they’re coming, and it’s the first punishment I’ve had for awhile so I just want to get it over with.  It’s just a matter of finding a time and place. Well, I trust J to figure it out. 

Never Again! 

Last night… When J got home for work I had to inform him that I was at 30 cus words for the day. So of course, I got 30 hard spanks from his hand and some reminder spanks that I am not to talk that way. I was pretty good at staying in position for the most part as hard as it was and even though it stung like the dickens. After that he gave me a long refocusing because I was very stressed out yesterday. 

So, after a punishment spanking I’m not allowed to rub my butt unless he gives me permission. After a refocusing I can as long as he’s okay with it. But after my discipline yesterday it was stinging so bad that I was adamant about rubbing. I was being completely stubborn and fighting off J so I could rub. I even went into the kitchen and sat on an ice pack. It was pathetic. I was acting like a child and I don’t even know why! He gave me so many warnings and finally I crossed the line. So he spanked me with this awful metal measuring spoon. I could not get myself to stay still. The spanking made the stinging worse, and again, I fought him and rubbed it again… He again, gave me multiple warnings and I again, crossed the line. So I again, got spanked with the metal spoon pretty hard. This time I gave him the spoon, bent over willingly, and took the spanking as best I could because I knew I was being completely disrespectful and disobedient on purpose. I felt so bad about it. By the time he was done I was crying and hugged him and apologised over and over. I didn’t rub after that, as much as I wanted to. After I fixed him, he rubbed it for me and we cuddled for awhile. Never again will I disrespect or disobey J like that again. This morning my butt is so sore, but I know I completely deserved everything I got. 

I love you Baby, and again, I’m sorry and that won’t ever happen again! ❤ 

Am I Crazy? 

Sometimes I think I’m crazy. Since we started this I’ve had a refocusing everyday, and I’ve had only one punishment spanking. Ever since the punishment yesterday, I have been trying really hard to behave as best I can because I would rather get 100 refocusing spankings then one punishment spanking. Anyway, yesterday I got just 8 quick swats with J’s hand for the eight cus words I said yesterday. It wasn’t even a refocusing.. Honestly, it felt like play before sex (which it kinda was). By the end of the day I felt grouchy and wanted to misbehave. Are you suppose to want to be spanked everyday for refocusing? It’s not punishment, it’s just to refocus my mind and “remind” me of being submissive, and that I’m a good wife, etc. I’ve read so many blogs where women needed to get spanked everyday for awhile while they were started out, and then gradually switched to only needing it a couple times a week. So maybe I’m not crazy. J asked me last night, “why do you need to be spanked to be okay everyday?” I was hesitant to answer, but I responded with, “because it makes me feel better.” And it does! It changes my mood and makes me cuddly and helps me let go of all the stress from that whole day. 

~K

HoH: pt. 1, first experiences

Hey folks, I’m J, and I am the Head of Household(HoH) in our Christian Domestic Discipline relationship.

K discovered this relationship style a few months ago and at first.. I did not like it one bit. I thought tht it was creepy and borderline abuse.. However, those relationships I read about back then really were on the extreme side and not all that “Christian.”

It wasn’t until K found a couple that really based it off of biblical reference that I even considered trying it for us.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:22-24

The last few days we have been experimenting with what is going to work for us. So far we have had at least one “refocusing spanking” everyday and haven’t really had much in the way of a “punishment spanking.”

We have decided that a punishment spanking will be for cussing and the 3 D’s.
1. Disrespect
2. Disobedience
3. Dishonesty

I have given K warnings for all of those during a couple refocusing spankings and if she continues it will escalate to a punishment.

I have discovered a personal importance as the HoH, that during spankings I remind her that she is loved and a good wife, that I want her to be her best and the spankings are for her own good. Also after the spanking is done, I hold her in my arms to comfort her.

Well, that’s all for now.. More to come!
~J