The discussion… 

For the past couple of months I have been reading about Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) and doing a lot of research on it. At first I was totally against it, and so was my fiancé, J. Recently I’ve been thinking more and more and reading more and more and it’s something I really want to do. I have a very stubborn, and strong willed personality, and most people would think I wouldn’t want to give  my husband the power to discipline me. Well, I’ve learned a lot about myself researching, and I really do want it. I think it is so important for wives to respect their husbands because that’s what God wants. Wives are suppose to submit to their husbands. Back in the older days, it was common for husbands to spank their wives for discipline, so why can’t it happen now? In my opinion, getting a spanking for being disrespectful and making him upset is a lot better then him being mad because he doesn’t want to yell at me. Giving me some swats on the rear is a way for him to tell me that what I did was not okay and releasing his anger in a controlled way to avoid a fight, and me receiving them is a reminder that I’m to respect my husband and a way for me to release any guilt I may have so neither of us will dwell on the situation. Spankings are also a good way to release any built up stress for the both of us. Before we decided to start CDD, I would sometimes ask him to spank me, not because I did anything wrong, but because I needed it for me. And after every spanking I felt better and was less cranky and snappy. 

You might ask, “well why doesn’t he get disciplined if he misbehaves?” The answer is, he does. Even though he can spank me for being disrespectful or rude, or whatever, doesn’t mean I won’t correct him when he messes up. I still have my “look” mastered, and I can’t get spanked for using it. Our relationship is still as equal as it was before the spankings, there’s just an added component. 

What do I get a spanking for? We haven’t worked out all the kinks or rules yet, but so far we’ve decided on the “three D’s.” If he feels like I’m being disrespectful, disobedient, or dishonest, that’s grounds for a spanking and he decides how long and hard. Now, he would never, never hurt me to the point of damage, and he knows my limits, so that is why I’m trusting him to do this. And No, in no way is this abuse. If it was abuse he would be forcing me over his knee against my will, and it is my choice to do this. I willing lay over his lap, in no way am I forced to. 

So let’s talk about how this all started… Last night I decided to propose the idea that we try CDD, but not to the extremes that some couples do. For example, I will not be spanked for not doing housework, unless he directly told me to and I ignored him which I doubt he would ever do anyway. At first I couldn’t read what he was thinking so I asked him to read about it. Later that night he agreed to try it because it fits both of our personalities and our relationship needs. This morning is when we decided to focus the discipline on the three D’s. 

I somewhat experienced my first discipline spanking this morning. I think it was more to try it out. All morning I was testing the waters like a five year old, and watching  J’s reaction. I don’t think he completely caught on to what I was doing. So we went for a drive to have some ….you know.. And after I confessed that I was purposefully testing him all morning, over his knee I went. He didn’t spank me long or hard, just enough to let me know he’s serious about it. He asked me if I was going to keep testing him, and of course I said no and I was sorry. I don’t think he even meant that one as a discipline spanking, but it worked. I was able to forget about acting like a child and move on and love him. I truly love him, and i truly appreciate that he’s willing to do this. I think it’s going to make our marriage that much better. 

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