Am I Crazy? 

Sometimes I think I’m crazy. Since we started this I’ve had a refocusing everyday, and I’ve had only one punishment spanking. Ever since the punishment yesterday, I have been trying really hard to behave as best I can because I would rather get 100 refocusing spankings then one punishment spanking. Anyway, yesterday I got just 8 quick swats with J’s hand for the eight cus words I said yesterday. It wasn’t even a refocusing.. Honestly, it felt like play before sex (which it kinda was). By the end of the day I felt grouchy and wanted to misbehave. Are you suppose to want to be spanked everyday for refocusing? It’s not punishment, it’s just to refocus my mind and “remind” me of being submissive, and that I’m a good wife, etc. I’ve read so many blogs where women needed to get spanked everyday for awhile while they were started out, and then gradually switched to only needing it a couple times a week. So maybe I’m not crazy. J asked me last night, “why do you need to be spanked to be okay everyday?” I was hesitant to answer, but I responded with, “because it makes me feel better.” And it does! It changes my mood and makes me cuddly and helps me let go of all the stress from that whole day. 

~K

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