J and I didn’t decide to stop Christian Domestic Discipline or anything, but our lives got busy and we didn’t have time for spankings… Which is not a good thing for me. Because I wasn’t getting my refocusing spankings, or any other kind of spankings (even though I knew I deserved to be) my attitude slipped dramatically. I was being mean to J pretty consistently. He would give me his “you need to stop look” or give me a quick one or two swats, but that was about it. I felt like I could do whatever I wanted and he wouldn’t do anything about it because he didn’t have time. It wasn’t a good situation. My mouth also slipped pretty badly. So the other night we had time and even though I didnt want to admit it, I needed a good refocusing. I wasn’t punished, although I did get some with the paddle for cussing and the way I had been treating him, but it was mostly a refocusing, and by the end of it I was pretty squirmy (but I wasn’t going to dare to block him). After he was done he held me for awhile and we both agreed that we shouldn’t go that long without a refocusing. And I really shouldn’t be able to get away with talking to him like I was.
I owe J 32 spanks with the paddle for cussing (yesterday wasn’t a good day for my temper) and we didn’t have time to do them yesterday so I’m going to try really hard to not rack anymore up. 32 with the paddle is enough for me… Waiting for them is the worst. I know they’re coming, and it’s the first punishment I’ve had for awhile so I just want to get it over with. It’s just a matter of finding a time and place. Well, I trust J to figure it out.