Never Again! 

Last night… When J got home for work I had to inform him that I was at 30 cus words for the day. So of course, I got 30 hard spanks from his hand and some reminder spanks that I am not to talk that way. I was pretty good at staying in position for the most part as hard as it was and even though it stung like the dickens. After that he gave me a long refocusing because I was very stressed out yesterday. 

So, after a punishment spanking I’m not allowed to rub my butt unless he gives me permission. After a refocusing I can as long as he’s okay with it. But after my discipline yesterday it was stinging so bad that I was adamant about rubbing. I was being completely stubborn and fighting off J so I could rub. I even went into the kitchen and sat on an ice pack. It was pathetic. I was acting like a child and I don’t even know why! He gave me so many warnings and finally I crossed the line. So he spanked me with this awful metal measuring spoon. I could not get myself to stay still. The spanking made the stinging worse, and again, I fought him and rubbed it again… He again, gave me multiple warnings and I again, crossed the line. So I again, got spanked with the metal spoon pretty hard. This time I gave him the spoon, bent over willingly, and took the spanking as best I could because I knew I was being completely disrespectful and disobedient on purpose. I felt so bad about it. By the time he was done I was crying and hugged him and apologised over and over. I didn’t rub after that, as much as I wanted to. After I fixed him, he rubbed it for me and we cuddled for awhile. Never again will I disrespect or disobey J like that again. This morning my butt is so sore, but I know I completely deserved everything I got. 

I love you Baby, and again, I’m sorry and that won’t ever happen again! ❤ 


Am I Crazy? 

Sometimes I think I’m crazy. Since we started this I’ve had a refocusing everyday, and I’ve had only one punishment spanking. Ever since the punishment yesterday, I have been trying really hard to behave as best I can because I would rather get 100 refocusing spankings then one punishment spanking. Anyway, yesterday I got just 8 quick swats with J’s hand for the eight cus words I said yesterday. It wasn’t even a refocusing.. Honestly, it felt like play before sex (which it kinda was). By the end of the day I felt grouchy and wanted to misbehave. Are you suppose to want to be spanked everyday for refocusing? It’s not punishment, it’s just to refocus my mind and “remind” me of being submissive, and that I’m a good wife, etc. I’ve read so many blogs where women needed to get spanked everyday for awhile while they were started out, and then gradually switched to only needing it a couple times a week. So maybe I’m not crazy. J asked me last night, “why do you need to be spanked to be okay everyday?” I was hesitant to answer, but I responded with, “because it makes me feel better.” And it does! It changes my mood and makes me cuddly and helps me let go of all the stress from that whole day. 


HoH: pt. 1, first experiences

Hey folks, I’m J, and I am the Head of Household(HoH) in our Christian Domestic Discipline relationship.

K discovered this relationship style a few months ago and at first.. I did not like it one bit. I thought tht it was creepy and borderline abuse.. However, those relationships I read about back then really were on the extreme side and not all that “Christian.”

It wasn’t until K found a couple that really based it off of biblical reference that I even considered trying it for us.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:22-24

The last few days we have been experimenting with what is going to work for us. So far we have had at least one “refocusing spanking” everyday and haven’t really had much in the way of a “punishment spanking.”

We have decided that a punishment spanking will be for cussing and the 3 D’s.
1. Disrespect
2. Disobedience
3. Dishonesty

I have given K warnings for all of those during a couple refocusing spankings and if she continues it will escalate to a punishment.

I have discovered a personal importance as the HoH, that during spankings I remind her that she is loved and a good wife, that I want her to be her best and the spankings are for her own good. Also after the spanking is done, I hold her in my arms to comfort her.

Well, that’s all for now.. More to come!

Sore Bottom….

Today has been a rough day for my bottom. It started with this morning when i was all out ]pof sorts because i was feeling insecure about my body and i got snappy with J. He decided to refocus me. As he spanked me he reminded me that I’m beautiful and i don’t need to feel insecure. He told me he loved me and made me feel better. Then he transitioned into some swats for being snappy at him, which i know is disrespectful. He went back to lighter swats to finish refocusing me. It wasn’t too bad. ( he also used the paddle to give me 8 smacks for cussing. We have an agreement that for every cus word said is a smack with the paddle for me and a dollor for him.)

Throughout the day I kept piling up the cus words! My big mistake of the day was saying, “f*** you” to him… Twice! *facepalm* i also snapped at him a few times and ignored him on mutiple occasions, which is a disrespect issue. So for all of that i had to be disciplined… For the 16 cus words and ignoring him, and snapping at him, he used the wooden spoon, and for cussing directly at him he used the bigger paddle. I really, really, really hate the wooden spoon and REALLY hate the paddle (which he broke). Note to self: never cus directly at J. I was having a heck of a time staying still and kept blocking him, which earned me some more harder swats with the dreadful spoon. I really don’t like to be spanked because I’m being punished. After he was done discipling me he transitioned into some refocus spankings, which stung because of the punishement, but made me feel better. Now my butt is stinging and sore. I do feel better though, and i love that J is strong enough to follow through and keep me accountable. I scored some really great sex after!!! He’ll blog soon!

Refocused and Disciplined All in One?

Today has been a rough day. I’m not going to go into detail, but J was away from me all day and i was in a very bad mood by the end of the day. Thank goodness i get to see him at the end of each day! When he got home he could tell i was having a rough time, so he decided to give me a refocusing spanking… I have this bad habit of snapping at J when I’m upset and im really trying to work on it, and since i snapped at him a couple times i got spanked for that during the refocusing. During the spanking he asked me questions and i was told mutiple times to respond with “yes sir.” well, i very stubbornly ignored this, and got spanked for that as well. Then when he asked if i was testing him again i said no, which was obviously a lie, and i got spanked for that too! Well i managed to disobey, disrespect, and be dishonest to J WHILE i was being spanked! I am definitely refocused and quite sore! Still have yet to get a full discipline spanking. The upside to this was I got some sex after! 

New to this…

I think it’s because I’m new to this whole CDD thing, but all day I’ve been wondering what a REAL spanking is going to be like, and I want to know! I know I can’t purposefully misbehave just to get him to punish me, but I’m so curious on how it’s going to be! What’s he going to do? What’s he going to use? What’s he going to say? Am I going to have to say yes sir and no sir? So many questions! I’m nervous for the first real spanking, but I just have the urge to do something to get him to do it… (I won’t do anything on purpose, I’m just nervous!). When the time comes for him to say, “I’m going to spank you,” or whatever he’s going to say my stomach is going to turn into knots! I’m also wondering if we’re going to do “refocus” spankings when I’m crabby or uncomfortable and what those would be like! The suspense is killing me! 

The discussion… 

For the past couple of months I have been reading about Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) and doing a lot of research on it. At first I was totally against it, and so was my fiancé, J. Recently I’ve been thinking more and more and reading more and more and it’s something I really want to do. I have a very stubborn, and strong willed personality, and most people would think I wouldn’t want to give  my husband the power to discipline me. Well, I’ve learned a lot about myself researching, and I really do want it. I think it is so important for wives to respect their husbands because that’s what God wants. Wives are suppose to submit to their husbands. Back in the older days, it was common for husbands to spank their wives for discipline, so why can’t it happen now? In my opinion, getting a spanking for being disrespectful and making him upset is a lot better then him being mad because he doesn’t want to yell at me. Giving me some swats on the rear is a way for him to tell me that what I did was not okay and releasing his anger in a controlled way to avoid a fight, and me receiving them is a reminder that I’m to respect my husband and a way for me to release any guilt I may have so neither of us will dwell on the situation. Spankings are also a good way to release any built up stress for the both of us. Before we decided to start CDD, I would sometimes ask him to spank me, not because I did anything wrong, but because I needed it for me. And after every spanking I felt better and was less cranky and snappy. 

You might ask, “well why doesn’t he get disciplined if he misbehaves?” The answer is, he does. Even though he can spank me for being disrespectful or rude, or whatever, doesn’t mean I won’t correct him when he messes up. I still have my “look” mastered, and I can’t get spanked for using it. Our relationship is still as equal as it was before the spankings, there’s just an added component. 

What do I get a spanking for? We haven’t worked out all the kinks or rules yet, but so far we’ve decided on the “three D’s.” If he feels like I’m being disrespectful, disobedient, or dishonest, that’s grounds for a spanking and he decides how long and hard. Now, he would never, never hurt me to the point of damage, and he knows my limits, so that is why I’m trusting him to do this. And No, in no way is this abuse. If it was abuse he would be forcing me over his knee against my will, and it is my choice to do this. I willing lay over his lap, in no way am I forced to. 

So let’s talk about how this all started… Last night I decided to propose the idea that we try CDD, but not to the extremes that some couples do. For example, I will not be spanked for not doing housework, unless he directly told me to and I ignored him which I doubt he would ever do anyway. At first I couldn’t read what he was thinking so I asked him to read about it. Later that night he agreed to try it because it fits both of our personalities and our relationship needs. This morning is when we decided to focus the discipline on the three D’s. 

I somewhat experienced my first discipline spanking this morning. I think it was more to try it out. All morning I was testing the waters like a five year old, and watching  J’s reaction. I don’t think he completely caught on to what I was doing. So we went for a drive to have some ….you know.. And after I confessed that I was purposefully testing him all morning, over his knee I went. He didn’t spank me long or hard, just enough to let me know he’s serious about it. He asked me if I was going to keep testing him, and of course I said no and I was sorry. I don’t think he even meant that one as a discipline spanking, but it worked. I was able to forget about acting like a child and move on and love him. I truly love him, and i truly appreciate that he’s willing to do this. I think it’s going to make our marriage that much better.